The Ultimate Weapon
Regular Prisoners * Colonel Hogan - Bob Crane * Corporal Louis LeBeau - Robert Clary * Corporal Peter Newkirk - Richard Dawson * Sergeant James Kinchloe - Ivan Dixon * Sergeant Andrew Carter - Larry Hovis Camp Personnel * Kommandant Wilhelm Klink - Werner Klemperer * Sergeant Hans Schultz - John Banner Semi-Regulars * General Albert Burkhalter - Leon Askin * Fräulein Hilda - Sigrid Valdis Guest Stars * Karla Hoffman - Marian Moses Synopsis Hogan plans to send German defenses to the wrong target, by 'giving' Schultz ESP, so that the Allies can bomb an important target. Plot Details Klink has ordered a formation of the prisoners, and presents four new prisoners. The four were part of an unsuccessful air raid the previous night, on a ball bearing factory at Zuglitz. Klink declares that the failed air raid is an example of Germany's invinciblity, but Hogan quickly points out that a successful air raid occured at Cologne on the same night, causing the irate Kommandant to dismiss them. Some time later, Hogan goes into Klink's office. He apologises for making remarks about Cologne and comments on the map of military positions in Europe. It is obvious that the Russians are breaking through German lines, but Klink refuses to see it as such, and insists it is a trap for the Russians. He further goes on to say he is waiting to hear a broadcast from Radio Berlin confirming that the "trap" was successful. Hogan, who has broken the radio, points it out to Klink and insists he will have it fixed by six o'clock, in time for Radio Berlin. As Kinch is working on fixing the radio and wiring it so the prisoners can broadcast on it, Hogan explains to Carter and LeBeau that their plan is to record the Radio Berlin broadcast and then play it back to Klink half an hour later. Newkirk appears, having listened to the broadcast and informs Hogan that the Russians have made a twenty mile advance at Kiev and the Germans are in full retreat. As Schultz approaches them, Hogan has Newkirk pickpocket Schultz' watch. Schultz fails to spot the pickpocketing, and berates Hogan for causing Klink to miss the 6 o'clock broadcast. Hogan points out that it is 5:40, and Schultz checks his watch (which Newkirk hands to him) and finds that his watch says 5:40 too. Hogan gets to work on Schultz and touts him up as a military genius and slyly feeds him the story that the Russians have advanced before Hogan and Schultz go to deliver the radio. Hogan receives an earful from Klink about him missing the deadline, but Hogan points out it is 5:57 pm. Schultz also confirms this, as does Hilda. He insists all three are incorrect, but changes his mind when the Radio Berlin "broadcast" begins. Hogan gets to work by discussing Schultz' "theory" of the Russians breaking through at Kiev. The news soon reports as such and the overjoyed Schultz exclaims that he was correct. He tries to predict the next day's events, but the angry Klink dismisses them all from his office. A week later, in Hogan's office, Schultz is enjoying drinks while being fed more information from Hogan that the Russians have pushed forward to the Polish border before the two go to Klink's office. As per the "broadcast" Schultz is once again "correct." As he is musing over his predictions, General Burkhalter arrives, and after some confused discussion with Klink over the time (as the Heroes are still tampering with Klink's watch) Burkhalter asks what Schultz was saying. Hogan quickly intervenes and touts Schultz' "military genius" and points out that he has made a week's worth of predictions successfully. Burkhalter is not impressed, as predicting defeats is not useful, but he asks Schultz to predict which German city the Allies will bomb that night. Schultz, after some encouraging by Hogan, randomly selects Hamburg. Shortly after in the tunnel, Hogan has Kinch radio London with an urgent directive to target Hamburg for bombing. Newkirk muses that they are going a long way to make Schultz look good, but Hogan points out that at the end, it will make Zuglitz look bad, before heading to Klink's quarters. Klink, Burkhalter, Schultz, Hogan and Hilda are all enjoying a few drinks in Klink's quarters, awaiting news from Hamburg. Burkhalter receives a call from General Schmidt, a friend of his stationed in Hamburg. Burkhalter asks if there have been any attacks, and receives a negative reply just before the air raid alarm sounds and the call is disconnected. Burkhalter declares with horror that "they have dropped a bomb on Schmidt!" Burkhalter is quick to suggest Schultz be sent to Berlin to be tested for ESP, but Hogan suggests that moving him from Stalag 13 might disrupt his abilities. Agreeing with Hogan, Burkhalter arranges someone to be sent from Berlin and asks Schultz if there is anything he would like. Schultz, who had been drinking the entire time, merely asks to sleep on Klink's couch (which he was sitting on). Klink tries to deny the couch to him, but is overruled by Burkhalter. The next day, Schultz is briefed that a Colonel Hoffman from the SS would be arriving shortly to test Schultz for ESP. As it turns out, Colonel Hoffman is a woman, much to the surprise of all in Klink's office. Upon being introduced to Hogan, Burkhalter asks if Hogan should be sent away, but Hoffman remarks that a suspicious tone that he should stay. Later that night as Hogan is readying himself for dinner in Klink's quarters, Kinch informs Hogan that the Allied bombers are making their attack on Dusseldorf (Schultz' selected target). All that remains is for Hoffman to certify Schultz' "genius" and to that end, Hogan intends to charm her. Carter offers Hogan some of his aftershave (which he discovered by making TNT) but Hogan declines. During dinner, Burkhalter receives a call and relays wonderful news to all involved: Dusseldorf has been wiped out. Now certified as Germany's ultimate weapon, Schultz predicts Berlin would be bombed next. Hoffman however has reservations of massing all Germany's defenses in Berlin, and muses that a strong psychic link exists between Schultz and Hogan, and that she will investigate Hogan alone. The three Germans leave and Hogan and Hoffman begin to talk. Hoffman muses that Hogan might have more connections than one with Schultz and she asks for Hogan's help, implying a wish to defect before she and Hogan kiss. The next morning, Hogan discusses the evening's events with the rest of the Heroes. Hogan has his doubts that Hoffman is legitimately trying to defect, and soon sees that she is leaving. She invites him into her car obstensibly to "deliver a message" but the moment the doors are closed, they embrace once more. Hogan asks why she is leaving, and she informs him that she has been ordered overnight to Zuglitz to oversee security. Despite knowing that Zuglitz will be bombed that night, Hogan decides not to tell her of it, fearing the risk is too great. Later that night, Schultz, Klink and Burkhalter are waiting in Klink's quarters yet again to receive news. They soon receive a call from Berlin, and expecting victory, Burkhalter learns that Zuglitz, not Berlin was bombed instead. Burkhalter learns that he is being investigated, and is quick to blame Klink. Klink however expresses that he never put any faith in Schultz' abilities and Schultz is simply too drunk to bother responding. The entire conversation is being heard by the Heroes. Hogan feels guilty that Hoffman may have been killed, but Kinch insists his decision was correct. They are soon surprised by Colonel Hoffman, who was never at Zuglitz at all. She informs Hogan that it was all a security test and that at that time she did not intend to defect. However, since she recommended Schultz, and his failure, she has no choice but to defect or face Germany's wrath. She points out that since Hogan arranged the bombing of Zuglitz, he could also arrange her to escape Germany, which he agrees to. She asks why he made the decision to let her go, to which Hogan responds that he "was doing my job". The next day, Hogan, Klink and Schultz are talking in Klink's office. The Prussian colonel ponders why such disasters befall Germany, but Hogan points out that since all the blame went to Colonel Hoffman, he should take solace that for once, his neck is not on the line. Schultz muses that he should have been given another attempt to make a prediction and goes on to express joy that Klink considers him to be his son (a fact that Klink expressed several times during the episode). Klink dejectedly asks why such disasters befall Germany once more for good measure. Story Notes *This is the eighty-eighth produced episode of the series, but is the ninetieth to be shown on television and the twenty-eighth episode shown for the Third Season. *This is the second episode in which one of the main German characters was given ESP powers to help complete a mission. This first time was in Season One's Psychic Kommandant. *Hogan makes a comment about Japanese radios being of inferior quality. This is one of the instances where they poke fun at the "Made in Japan" craze of the 1960s during the series. *There is no such town as Zuglitz in Germany. *This episode spotlights a female SS officer who plans to defect to the Allies. In real life, women were barred from the ranks of the SS proper due to their gender, but auxiliary organizations existed for those who wished to serve. The idea of the female SS officer was pure fiction, invented by post-war American pulp writers and popularized by such movies as [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ilsa,_She_Wolf_of_the_SS Ilsa, She-Wolf of the SS] (which was filmed on the Hogan's Heroes sets prior to their destruction). Timeline Notes and Speculations *This episode appears to take place in late January of 1944. This is keyed to the bombing raid on Cologne and Hogan's reference to the failure of the Germans to retake Kiev. In real life, the January 1944 bombing raid on Cologne did little damage, and by that time the Russians had finished overrunning the last of the German forces near Kiev. Also, Klink's office map of the Russian Front correctly shows the Russians ready to cross the Polish border at this time. Quotes Bloopers * In this episode, Hogan says that he is a member of the United States Air Force, which is incorrect. The Air Force was still part of the Army and was called the United States Army Air Forces. External links * The Ultimate Weapon at TV.com * The Ultimate Weapon at the Internet Movie Database * The Ultimate Weapon episode capsule at Webstalag 13 * Hogan's Heroes Fanclub * The Hofbrau Television stories Category:Season Three